Choosing the Good: A Shift in Perspective

April 16, 2025 • 6 min read • Life & Reflection

Lately, I’ve been toying with an idea that’s been bouncing around in my head:Have we made complaining our cultural default?

I started noticing it during the short drives home with my daughter. After picking her up from work, I’ll ask the usual, “How was your shift?” She’ll pause, think about it, and then usually launch into a story about some customer who acted out or some weird thing that happened.

Now, let me be clear—she’s not an overly negative person. But it struck me how rarely the answer is, “It was good,” or “Something awesome happened today.” Instead, it’s always what annoyed me, or what frustrated me, or what was ridiculous.

It got me thinking: Why do we do that? Why is the first filter we put our day through often the worst parts of it?

The Little Things That Bother Us

I’m not above it, either. I’ve got my own quirks—like always needing two drinks when I drive. One hot, one cold. Usually a Monster and a coffee. It’s just my thing. But because of this habit, my car’s cup holder is almost always occupied by yesterday’s coffee.

So what do I do? I pop the lid, dump the cold liquid out on the ground, and toss the cup into the backseat to throw away later. No big deal. It’s just coffee—it’ll evaporate, right?

But one day, my daughter caught me doing it and said, “I hate when people do that.”

I asked her why. She just said, “Because someone might have to step in it.”

That was it. End of conversation. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. To me, it felt like a small, harmless thing—yet to her, it was a minor offense. And maybe she’s right. But what stood out more than the coffee was how quick we are to zero in on what bugs us. Even something that barely affects us becomes a point of frustration.

Are We Just Wired to Complain?

We've built a culture around this mindset. We even label it: “Karens,” “Let me speak to your manager,” and so on. Back in my day, we didn’t use that term—we just said, “Stop being a little b***.”* Crude, sure, but the idea was the same: stop whining.

Now, I’m not saying every complaint is invalid. Some are justified. If someone on your local school board does something that negatively impacts your kid’s education? Yeah, that’s worth speaking up about. But not everything is a hill worth dying on.

More often than not, we vent about things that don’t really affect us. Who’s president, who’s on the city council, who runs the local coffee shop—it might not actually change the course of your day, yet we spend energy complaining about it anyway.

So here’s the shift I’m trying to make: Before I complain, I’m asking myself—Does this actually affect my life? Is this worth the mental space I’m giving it?

A Better Question: What Went Right Today?

Here’s a recent example. I had to drive down to Del Rio, Texas—a trip I’d been dreading all week. I stayed overnight in Ozona, and honestly, I expected it to suck. I’ve never loved the desert, being raised in New Mexico and always preferring trees, lakes, and green things.

But Ozona surprised me.

It’s a quaint little town, tucked away among cacti and cholla bushes. I had dinner at The Hitching Post—solid little restaurant—and woke up the next morning to a calm, overcast sky. I packed up and hit the road just before sunrise.

And man… it was beautiful.

A quiet two-lane highway. Hardly any traffic. Just me, the road, a hot coffee, and a cold drink. I watched the sun rise through a soft grey sky, and for a moment, everything just felt right. Peaceful. Centered.

And all I could think was:Why was I dreading this so much? This is exactly what I needed.

Final Thoughts

I think I’m going to make a habit out of this—Instead of asking “What pissed me off today?”, I’ll start asking, “What went right?”

Because complaining is easy. Anyone can do it. But finding the good, appreciating the calm, choosing joy—that takes intention. And it just might make life a whole lot better.

If you’ve been feeling stuck in a loop of negativity, try flipping the script. Start with what was beautiful, what was surprising, what made you smile. It might not fix everything—but it might change your day. ✌️